When we talk about the foods we like and dislike, we usually focus on their flavour. This is the main sensation we experience when we eat. Of course, a lot of what we think of as flavour is actually aroma, but the result is the same. We experience the ‘taste’ of the food through our nose and our tongue, and we either like or dislike it.
What is generally given secondary consideration is the texture of the food, but for many autistic people, this can be the real dealbreaker. This has certainly been the case for me, though I only really understood it quite late on in life. But it explains a great deal. It now makes sense to me why I can happily eat melted cheese on a burger or pizza but am repulsed by the feel of hard cheese in my mouth. It explains why I dislike most pasta, even though it has almost no flavour at all. And it now makes sense to me why I occasionally will do anything to remove a food from my mouth as quickly as possible!
Texture can be a funny sense. Many of us dislike the sound of someone scratching a blackboard, but I think we really dislike the idea of what it would feel like if our nails did the same thing. The sound itself isn’t particularly different from other sounds that provoke a much less extreme reaction. Much the same applies to a knife scraping across a plate. Do we dislike the sound, or the imagined sensation of the knife in our hand that is making it?
Our bodies crave texture in many ways, which is why things like flotation tanks can be so powerful, both for good and bad, by removing the constant sensations that we are used to. But a heightened sensitivity to texture can be hard for others to understand. For example, we all wear clothes with labels, and for most of us, it makes no difference at all. We probably couldn’t even tell you where the label is on the clothes we are wearing right now by feel alone. But for many autistic people, a label in an item of clothing can be an absolute dealbreaker, and may well have to be removed before they can wear the garment comfortably. It may seem like the story of the princess and the pea comes to life, but it really can feel like a boulder if it affects you.
I do not struggle greatly with labels in my clothes, but I do have other sensory issues with touch. I am very sensitive to the position of my socks on my feet. Seamless socks have been a huge help, but I still have to adjust them constantly if they twist on my foot. I do not mind the labels on my clothing, but the label on my duvet must always be at the foot end of the bed, as I cannot stand feeling it through the duvet cover against my arms or chest.
These sensations are real, and they are much more than preferences. It’s like having a few pieces of grit in your shoe, but much worse! If I could ignore my issues with texture, I really would, since it is often highly inconvenient, but I can’t ignore it any more than I can stop myself from blinking at a sudden bright light.
But it also means that some textures can bring me enormous pleasure. I never tire of rubbing my fingers on a silky fabric, or perhaps a piece of carved wood with a very regular pattern. These sensations have as positive an impact on me as others have a negative one.
The more I look back, the more I see how my sensitivity to textures has impacted my life without me even realising it. This understanding doesn’t change how I react, but it helps me understand why I cannot bear the feel of spaghetti in my mouth or certain fabrics against my skin. It reassures me to know that I am not choosing to be this way on some subconscious level, but that my experience and needs are real.
I am conscious, though, that for many years I could not explain why I had these strong reactions to textures, and there are likely many autistic people still at that stage on their journey. As always, a little understanding can go a long way, even if their needs make no sense to you or seem to follow no logic or reason!